Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Attitude - it can be your saving grace

​Hi there, 
This is a post I wrote up way back in July 2014 for both my workplace and for here, but its now become timely to bring it back for a second viewing. 
Bit of a disclaimer to start with. 
Topics I cover here in these posts are simply personal observations and are not intended to be professional counselling, condescending or upsetting, they are simply things I sometimes cover in one on one sessions with staff/peers or mentoring I do outside of work, that people down through the years have found helpful. To be clear - this is not some narcissistic attempt to gain fame or be "all that" and push my profile either. I simply have a helpful nature. 
These posts come about from increasing periods of seeing rough times friends, acquaintances and even strangers are going through, coming across the occasional sad articles and/or seeing close friends, family and other people struggling with things they haven't been able to get their heads around. Being able to provide a kind word, a bit of advice when asked for, or just a friendly ear, I've learnt from history, can make a difference. So thats what these posts are. 
You and I both know - tough times are tough times. No one is a stranger to them. I figured having a couple of places where someone is giving you some support/back-up to get you back on track might be good - hence this blogspot site. It's name is very similar to an old Japanese saying (which I reference to MANY times and will likely be my next tattoo) which speaks to underdog / fighter in all of us;
That all said and disclaimer all done, feel free to read on....
"Attitude is always your saving grace" 
Like everyone who is reading this knows, yep, life can deliver a few hard knocks, get a bit frustrating or just get you tired of being tired. Maybe you haven't had a holiday for a while due to circumstances beyond your control. End of the year can sometimes have this affect too - you've put in 12 months and worked hard, exhausted. 
Similarly starts of the year can weigh in like pro-fighters with fists the size of your face as well. Add to that deaths, divorces, dramas, break-ups, teenager issues, smaller children acting like teenagers, work problems etc and all of sudden, it can feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders whilst riding on a 4 x G-force roller coaster. 
Needless to say, sometimes these pressures can build up (see what I did there?) and both big and small annoyances can feel like mountains in no time flat.
But there is some good news - in just about all cases.
Like the post about "okay-wise-guy, how-do-i-stop-getting-annoyed?", if you were able to stop and look around, take a few calming breaths, plus deliberately alter how you are viewing things by challenging yourself, mountains CAN get smaller. Even if only by a millimetre or two. But a millimetre is a millimetre, right? Its an improvement.
Often people who care about you, will act as catalysts by kicking you in the ass when needed, offering you support you didn't know you had,or maybe you'll just read something that will pick you up just enough to help. All o​f these things can allow you to see differences in your day that you couldn't see when you were upset/angry/frustrated. 
Its 100% true that anger and fear both cloud judgement.
But you can change all that. 
And like the title states, with attitude.
But how? 
Well, for everyone it's different, but here are a few things to get you started.
i) Lame as it sounds, you could tell yourself "I'm in control of how I'm going to handle this" - just dont do this in a mirror. That's weird.
ii) In any situation where you are feeling anxious/afraid/stressed out/annoyed - take a few calming breaths – oxygen is your friend. Just don't over do it. Breathe normally. Focus on it.
iii) Take a step back mentally (and physically if you need to) to get an objective/less stressful look at where you're at, even where others are at.
iv) Often the key to taking anxiety out of a situation is to ask questions to find out more. Knowing what you're dealing with is better than guessing. "Fear of the unknown" is a common problem - so fix it and ask so its not as unknown anymore.
v) Be brutally honest with yourself - try to analyse "why" you might feel the way you do about things - may not be the reason you thought. Did you fail to prepare? Do you still have time? Prepping is more important than you realise.
vi) Make a no-nonsense plan with how you're going to deal with the cause/s with how you will react - either physically or mentally – the actual cause make no difference. Again, you're deciding how you're going to handle this, how you are going to react.
vii) "Attack" your own negativity/fear/anxiety. These things will breed given half the chance. Remember - you're choosing how to react - I can't state this enough - it really is your choice.
viii) Act positively - do what you planned to do - you're taking your own power back from the situation/mood that took it away. No matter how bad the situation might appear to be, its on you to try and improve it for yourself.

...And surprisingly all these things can literally take seconds to work through.
Now I'm not saying you should be Mr or Ms (Miss, Mrs etc) Positivity or over the top prepared because ridiculously positive people generally get high fives…..to the face…..with chairs…..
...but a little internal positivity can go a long way.
And once you get into the habit, changing your attitude and the way you view situations can get easier.
Clear heads see clear things.
So wrapping this up, hopefully this has made a bit of sense and perhaps it has helped. Attitude can keep you safe, can be a powerful line of defence when you need one and can change the way you view the world around you.
Either way, just remember, aside from looking after yourself and gettin' your own head on straight, consider the picture below. 

Not only do you need to look after your own attitude, but spare a thought for how your own might be impacting on others. Attitudes connect and have the ability to grow with those around you. Give it a shot, and good luck. 
So yeah, post over. Thanks again for coming by. Feel free to offer any helpful suggestions you might have, that may be helpful for any of the others who come by for a read, there seems to be a fair few of you lot these days based on the stats. We're up around 6,000 regular readers by the looks of it, of them, you are one. I appreciate you stopping by so often. 
#googlestatsarecool #trustinyourselfyoucandoit #strongerthanyourealise #yougotthis #DLTBGYD
Daz